Have you heard Jerry Seinfeld’s Duke Commencement speech?
“Fall in love with stupid meaningless objects,” says Jerry.
“Your coffee, your sneakers, the $1.29 Bic pen that comes in a box of ten, the car signal switch that has a nice feel, the pizza crust that collapses with the right amount of pressure.”
Among his several tips, he implores graduates to find the richness in the human experience. Completing a project is valid, he says, but just enjoy the experience while you’re at it.
Jerry Seinfeld – one of the most accomplished comedians of our time focuses more on the experience than on the outcome.
Hmmm – there’s something to that advice!
Accomplished people who focus more on appreciating the process than on the outcome itself!
Mary Oliver, is so different from Jerry Seinfeld in many ways. Except, they share a mutual love for what many might call “the small things.”
She took walks in nature to heal herself from a difficult childhood. She noticed what others would not take the time to see and captured the experience in her poetry.
“I got saved by the beauty of the world,” she said in her interview with Krista Tippett.
“The Summer Day,” one of her most famous poems from her Pulitzer Prize winning collection, came from her observation of a grasshopper eating some frosting off her friend’s 90th birthday cake.
The poem concludes with the big question…
….tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
In learning more about her, I came across the description of her as a convivial listener.
Yes – I had to look it up. Convivial listeners engage the world imaginatively through attentively observing details, staying curious and doing so by fostering connection.
She wasn’t just a listener, she was also a doer! She accomplished many things including publishing over 20 books and receiving countless awards.
That leads me to my dad and with Father’s Day coming up, I can’t help but compare him with Seinfeld and Oliver. He owned our hometown pharmacy - and then he changed careers to do small town real estate development.
As I described in my 2018 eulogy for him, he “drank to life.” Now, mind you, he barely drank except for an occasional Manischewitz on holidays and the one time I saw him drunk at my nephew’s bris.
But, he drank to life as a collector, “obsessor,” creator, belly laugher and celebrator. He collected shells, watches, coins, buildings and ties (to name a few).
Why? Because he appreciated the beauty in them and loved sharing them with others.
A walk down the street took five times longer with him than it would if I were alone, because he’d notice the way the bricks were laid, the pretty flower growing, the person walking by to whom he always smiled.
On the beach, we always had a bag with us to collect the best shells. He’d find a gorgeous shell with a hermit crab in it and entice the crab to crawl to an uglier shell so that he could examine and appreciate the prettier shell.
Like Jerry Seinfeld and Mary Oliver, Stan Zukin noticed and appreciated what others didn’t. He won awards for renovating buildings in our home town and at the end of the year, we will be opening the hotel he envisioned but didn’t get to finish before his death.
Great leaders see what others don’t and then translate that vision into reality. They listen convivially and bring their unique gifts—whether humor, poetry, real estate, or innovative products—to those with a hunger for them.
The best leaders I’ve coached possess this ability to listen, observe and create for their teams, their customers, communities, and the world.
How can we all bring more convivial listening into the world? What little things are you noticing, appreciating and sharing with the others? I’d love to hear your reflections.
Drink To Life – L’Chaim –
Lori